If there’s a superpower where you can easily make anyone feel special, would you want to acquire it? You might wonder, but at what cost? I can gladly tell, at no cost at all. Anyone can obtain this superpower as long as they follow the coming steps. And yes, this superpower is called: Listen.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
— Epictetus
Here are 3 secret ingredients to obtaining the superpower to Listen:
1. DEAL (Drop Everything And Listen)
Some people might think it’s common sense, but at the same time, most people fail to do so. Don’t be surprised when you notice how often people check their phones even though someone is talking to them.
Be a good listener. Put down whatever you’re doing and give your full attention to the speaker. Don’t try to multitask even though you can. Focus solely on them and listen. Remember to show plenty of eye contact too!
Tip #1: If you have a habit of checking your phone whenever a notification pops up, turn your phone to silent mode or put it in your bag.
2. Let them finish first.
If a friend comes to you for advice, I’m sure you’d be excited to help. Or when you finally get to catch up with a close friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, you would have so much to share. This is normal!
But when someone is sharing with you, be patient and let them finish first. Rather than trying to come up with ways to respond, you can sit back and listen. When they are finished sharing their story, you will know to share yours.
Tip #2: If you’re not sure when you should respond, give it three seconds. If they continue sharing, then you would know to wait and listen.
3. Listen to learn.
Everyone sees the world differently. The life choices we make and the experience we gain vary from person to person. Don’t be surprised if you learn something insightful just by listening to someone share about their day.
Even though this learning opportunity has always been within our grasp, we’re often too busy talking rather than listening. Take a step back and listen for a bit. You’ll realize how much knowledge is waiting for you to acquire.
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
— Dalai Lama
To Conclude
The secret recipe for obtaining this superpower is right here. Take your time to digest it, then focus on practicing it in your daily conversations. You might be lucky enough to see your friend or colleague’s face light up when you surprise them with what a great listener you are! I’m sure anyone sharing with you will feel extremely lucky and special because you made them feel that way with your superpower – Listen.
(Special thanks to my friend Xin for reminding me how special it feels to be heard. Following these tips that I sneakily learned from him, I hope I can become a better listener and inspire others to join me!)
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